I feel well able to respond to Jeff Anderson’s article "Silence" since I am a positive woman who had a positive baby (now deceased), have been Chair of an ASO, Board Member of another, have never been paid for either position. I have been to PAN, representing both ASO’s on many occasions and was a PAN attendee at the very first meeting. I even voted at Jeff’s election to become the Lower Mainland representative in the Working Group of PAN. I have the greatest respect for BCPWA and the work they do and have become friends with many workers there and have received a great amount of assistance from them, for which I am very grateful. Recently, I decide to take a much-needed break from the AIDS scene to concentrate more on some personal issues.

I would draw your attention to the words of one of the many HIV negative people who have had a profound affect on the thoughts of positive people and the world of AIDS. Jonathan Mann did not chain himself to a fence but used the gift of the spoken word to spread his message across the world. HIV positive and negative people respected him and he was listened to. At the 1996 World AIDS Conference in Vancouver, he said in the early days there was a sense of a common cause and a great solidarity and since that time each organization has been fighting for its own rights, causing division and making each more powerless. He urged the advocates to work with the scientists, the have’s to help the have nots and the positive people to work with the non-positive people. I am very sad he is not here today to guide us with his words.

There is a wonderful moment from Good Will Hunting, where Robin Williams sits with Matt Damon on a park bench. Robin Williams explains to Matt that you can read all you like about Michelangelo and what a great painter he was but until you have stood in the Sistine Chapel, you will never know what it is like to know the smell or see his work first hand. I believe this is also true of being HIV positive. Who could ever better represent us than ourselves because we know what it is to breathe this curse every day? However, does that mean we can blame HIV negative people for our voice not being loud enough or even go so far as to say the voices of positive people who are paid by ASO’s are worthless? I have never heard anything more ridiculous in my life! When my voice is not heard I send in letters, I go to the press, I phone ASO’s. Jeff has put all his complaints down but has not said how he has tried to rectify the situation nor how he intends to continue. Will he be approaching positive people to ask them to be a positive voice at PAN? What concrete action will he be taking instead of stamping his feet and whining? It has been my experience that the Working Group of PAN does include positive people, who work hard for us all.

I find it very insightful to be married to a non-positive person because I frequently (like it or not!) get the other side of the story. The fact remains that there are many HIV negative people doing an outstanding job of working WITH positive people. Why should we lay it at their door that we are not getting more positive people to attend PAN? When have we ever gone out and encouraged other positive people to become part of it ourselves? I am as guilty of this as anyone and I look back and think how I could have encouraged others, instead of expecting them to come to me. I think when we all start to look within at what we are doing to cause this situation instead of blaming others, will we find the real answer and a new solidarity will emerge and a new respect for ourselves and others.

The undersigned members of the Working Group of the Pacific AIDS Network would like to respond to the feature article, "Silence! Speaking For You Without Listening To You," in your March/April issue of Living Positive.

The membership of PAN discussed this article on the floor of the General Assembly (Saturday, March 11, 2000), and is currently in the process of drafting a detailed response to its content and tone. This letter will be distributed for review and endorsement by delegates of the March General Assembly, and to PAN’s full membership.

In the interim, we ask that you print this letter as a public expression of our disappointment that your publication did not attempt to seek a broader perspective from PAN’s HIV+ Forum on the issues addressed in the article. This would have provided for a more accurate and constructive picture of the proactive work of PAN, and better reflect the spirit of cooperation demonstrated by a clear majority of HIV/AIDS service and peer-based projects and organizations across the region.

The majority of delegates at our March General Assembly, including strong representation from the HIV+ Forum, did not agree with the statements made in your article about PAN and its operations, and most delegates questioned the article’s general accuracy and intent. There were also concerns as to whether the article represented the interests and will of your society’s membership, in addition to your board of directors.

As a service to the majority of our HIV+ delegates who stated that your article did not reflect their experiences with PAN, we ask you for a commitment to publish this letter, and to provide your readers with the address of PAN’s website (www.pan.ca), where a detailed response from the majority of our member agencies will be published in the near future.

Sincerely,

Ruthann Tucker, Agency of Record
Charlotte Kinzie, Vancouver Island
Ron van der Meer, Southern Interior
Dennis Hutchinson, Southern Interior
Evin Jones, Lower Mainland
Olive Godwin, Northern Region
Randin Brons, Northern Region
Phillip Haines, Vancouver Island